Thank you all for your support, but I’m not at all sure where to go post wise next. Certainly I cannot go back to posts about antiques or pretty features or decorating or new kitchens.
I can’t just use this blog as a forum to cry/rant about Brexit and I just can’t bring myself to post about a restoration project that I may have to give up on in a place where, as Brits, we may very well not be welcome any more; legally or practically.
I’m not talking about our French friends and neighbours, they can think for themselves, but I cannot face a new revival of the old Anti-English attitude/hostility that some French folk have.
I literally cannot even think about setting foot in France right now; as anyone who knows about my ridiculously ( and uncontrollably) high “sensitivity” to what’s going on around me will understand.
Incidentally, I am half Welsh with French ancestry on my grandfather’s side; so I’m not even b*****y English, though I was born in Lancashire.
This is hurting beyond belief
Blog-sur-Aude 
I can’t add anything clever to the comments already left. But I can say that there is much to digest amongst them and a general feeling of optimism and good reminders that this is just a moment in history. I think that falling off a bike or a pony you need to get back on and do what you are doing. We have no idea what the next stage will be so just assume that you can go on. And if we have to carry a visa, so be it. All shall be well – a different shape but all SHALL be well.
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I have concluded that is all we can do. But I hate the added pressure of the timescale.
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Pressure is a known quantity …. Not pleasant but by definition you can deal with it. Stress is the unknown and less easy because it is the ephemeral uncertain feeling that you can’t grasp by the mettle. You have many people urging you on – lean on us.
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We may or may not be able to make the move soon. It’s not just the increasing difficulty of the process and having to obtain visas and “green cards” etc. We cannot afford to maintain homes in two countries.It’s a financial/income issue, not a crisis of nerve and we aren’t quite ready to commit practically . That’s the real pressure. The positive support is appreciated though.
This weekend we will make a decision as to how we go forward as the uncertainty itself is disturbing me the most.
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I understand the issues of timing/income. If we could be we would be settled in France but my husband has 2-3 years to go before retirement and there is little or no opportunity for him to work at the same level of income in his field in Europe let alone France per se. Uncertainty is the killer and I can only hope you will be able to find a solution very soon. Hugs x
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For what it’s worth: I haven’t heard any bad-mouthing of the British over this. Pity, yes. Bad-mouthing, no.
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I saw my own country self-destructing (in part) during the 60s. It wasn’t the drugs it was the war and the lies about the war and much more. I did see good people working toward better solutions and we did get out of Vietnam and while hate and mistrust continued, other ways to confront it came out of the struggle. In the US we have lost too much of what we gained, what we learned and I hope we, too, can become a kinder, more open country.
For the UK–well, I’ve always considered myself an anglophile, and still do. When I used to take vacations in France I would not identify as an American, but as a Californian…explaining that California did not vote for Georges Bush. And I would add, that California had so much in common with France: wine, cheese, mountains, great rivers, trout and salmon, even many of the same mushrooms and trees!
A couple of trips I flew Virgin Atlantic to LHR and then to Toulouse where I’d rent a car. Besides developing an instant hate for LHR (10 years ago) I had to take National Express to another airport for the flight to Toulouse or Lyon and the people I had to deal with or just observed made me decide I would NOT chose to layover for a couple days in London on another trip. I saw the xenophobia demonstrated even to me because I was choosing to go to France…
I am sensitive to peoples’ underlying emotions and when you have to deal with someone whose assistance you need, you can’t avoid them.
There was anger at ‘rich Americans’ (I took no other vacations, saved all year and knew how to budget so I could afford the trip), anger at the French (somehow a perception that the French look down on the British but it was all emotion, nothing specific) and the strangest part, anger that they were working to get people from one airport to another but they couldn’t go anywhere. It gave me a headache until I got to Toulouse (switching languages sort of wipes out the residue..). It was the idiocy of the situation. If people weren’t flying somewhere else then those people wouldn’t have jobs…
And I have been in shops in towns in France (Foix, especially) where the Brits were loud, obnoxious and demanding and I had the feeling that it was nothing to do with that particular shop or shop person (in each occasion) and just the Brits being naturally ugly. I also have to say that in Paris (which I seldom visited) I was very ashamed by the conduct (see descriptions above) of Americans all over Paris.
I remember watching Clockwork Orange and being more frightened than entertained and later read another book by Burgess, The Wanting Seed. I like science fiction and have read various authors of dystrophic fiction (also frightening) which sort of prepared me for the world we find ourselves in.
John Brunner (The Sheep Look Up, Jagged Orbit, Stand on Zanzibar, etc) writing almost 40 years ago speaks of what the daily papers now report as news.
These books won’t make you happy for feel good but they may give perspective on how such things develop.
And such stories also remind me of the true stories of courage, fortitude and acts of bravery which
one finds in the south of France. The men of the area of Roquefixade (Ariege) were all in the Maquis, and betrayed, were all slaughtered. There is a monument to them. They, what they did and why they did it is not forgotten. I ran into very old-timers and I was the first American they had met. I was thanked for what my countrymen had done for France over 60 years before.
That to me is the real France, the living France that one can still connect with if one respects France’s history and struggles. Perhaps it’s because most of the people I know live in Ariege which is PS territory so the FN doesn’t have a strong foothold there.
But I do still believe that positive change is possible, both in the US and in the UK. Anger and violence are taught but we don’t have to learn that approach (they’re NOT answers even though I do become angry and would like to punch someone sometimes).
Find people with common interests (however small) and support each other in positive ways. If you’ve not been politically involved before, perhaps now is the time. Start demanding, not waiting for someone else to do so.
Perhaps participate in a small movement like this:
http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/safetypin-the-simple-way-you-can-show-solidarity-with-the-uks-immigrant-population–ZJzeRPz6kHW
Reach out to the people you do business with in France and let them know that you do not share the anti-EU platform and that you are grateful for all they’ve done for you. Healing has to start somewhere, let it start with you. Rather than confronting someone who is anti-EU, try telling them you’re sorry they’ve not experienced the benefits that you have, that it might have made them see things differently. You’re not saying they’re wrong….it defuses the situation (one hopes!).
And do continue to find rest, renewal and hope in the things of beauty with which you fill your lives and work. The creativity which brought those objects into being has not disappeared. When there is ugliness in the world outside we need the comfort of the living charm of the interior furnishings to
give us a haven. And so will others so that the work you do helps them in both tangible and intangible ways. You have not come this far to say you can’t go further. Give yourself time and do wait to see what develops and hold on to who you are and what you know.
Pity the yobs (just once) who have no idea what a sterile, lifeless world they live in and then put those thoughts away.
Good luck and good health to you both.
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Beautifully put–thanks.
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This is so sad. I don’t what to say. ;(
I sincerely hope you will able to return soon, both to France and your lovely blog.
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Come to Belgium!! Tell Trevor to bring his guitar!! We’ll teach him a couple of songs, have a vat of wine and sing till we’re hoarse. (Although we’ll have to sing quietly after 10:00pm. There are conventions on courtesy here.)
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Oh , that’s so tempting right now!
Sadly I can’t sing, sober or drunk.
I can hum though…………………..x
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It has been a very difficult time and I am deeply shocked and upset by the decision that has been taken. I value that everyone has a vote and a choice but I am angry at the campaigns that have been rolled out to drive fear and divisions across our country. I love being part of Europe and everyone will always be welcome in my home. I have my dream to to move from the UK and live in France in the future and I have always been inspired by your blog. Do not stop writing, it is a wonderful outlet, just take your time. Please dont ever change your dreams, in time we will work this through, just be strong you are not alone x
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Thanks Julie,
You are right, we must hang onto our dreams. And your comment is much appreciated.
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It’s your blog. Even though it may have a started about restoration initially, there’s nothing that says you can’t rant and rave for a little while. I as a reader have patience for that. I think the process of living in France is fundamental to the process of restoring something in France. And it’s fairly easy to get a uncomplicated six month visa for France. So if you time your visits right you can do that without all of the complications of a one-year visa.
I for one am very interested in how individual Brits such as yourself are responding to this strange new future. And wish you the best of luck
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I very much agree. Reading about your restoration project is interesting, but reading about your restoration project running into the very messy world of 20teens Europe and how you, personally, experience it and feel about it is even more interesting.
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Interesting? yes; good for my sanity and wellbeing ? maybe not.
However, I can imagine that vicariously watching me flip my lid is probably as riveting, if not more so , than just another one of those rose tinted, fluffy French restoration blogs.
No disrespect to my followers who have mostly been just lovely and kind and very supportive of my current meltdown and encouraged me to stumble on.
What I did originally try to get across on this blog, though latecomers will have missed this, is the fact that we are not affluent, we don’t have resources like savings, we have burnt our property boats in the UK and currently only one of us is working full time! so this is most definitely not your usual “we bought a French house because it was such a bargain and we’ll enjoy it now and again as part of our comfy, privileged lifestyle whilst we stay in the UK in our big house there with no mortgage ”
Sorry, am I ranting again?
So, yes Zip, as I respect your opinion I’ll go on if you think it’s not going to come over as Ms Martyr rants on about the general unfairness of life….!?
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Most of my French neighbours really could not be bothered about it. There is definitely no anti-English feeling at all.
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That’s reassuring. But I don’t want to have to look at visas for travel and green cards to live .
Thanks for your input, it helps , really
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Believe me I understand, Stuart is from the Isle of Mann
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Wow! I have ancestry from there too!
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Hi!
I am sure that the last thing you want to hear at the moment is that in a while things will be almost back to normal and the Brits will have negotiated a good agreement. EU needs UK and you need EU.
Let’s put it in a bit of perspective, we the people living in Aude (if I may claim I am one) have experienced quite a few things over the years such as the crusades, 100 year war, WWI and WWWII, to name a few so this is in that perspective not much to talk about.
Obviously I know nothing about the implications this will have on Brits but I am sure that your wonderful blogg is more needed than ever now.
Best
JP
Blog-sur-Aude wrote: > WordPress.com coteetcampagne posted: “Thank you all for your support, but I’m not at all sure where to go post wise next. Certainly I cannot go back to posts about antiques or pretty features or decorating or new kitchens.I can’t just use this blog as a forum to cry/rant about Brexit and “
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Of course your readers will understand if you take a break. No worries. When you are ready, a post about food, furniture restoration, or a favorite memory are crowd favorites!
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