Mort dans l’âme- heartsick

???????????????????????????????I feel “découragé” today.

All the “di’s ” and a quite a few of the “de’s” also- discouraged, despondent, dejected, depressed, disheartened, dispirited.

We are  five months away from a very significant date. i.e. ten years exactly from the inception of our ten-year-plan and when we finally stopped talking about  finding and restoring and moving to an old house in a sunny corner of France and actually started the ball rolling. The ball has stopped and is slowly deflating from numerous punctures, maybe one too many this time .

In short, our ten year plan is not so much derailed as rusting in a siding with weeds growing over it . Enough of the metaphors and a few reasons for today’s mood.

* The weather is relentlessly grey in UK and so dark it could be dusk

* We are skint because Trevor lost months of overtime pay whilst he was ill.

* France is sliding into another recession and the powers that be seem to think that the only way to bail themselves out is by increasing taxes, including those on second home owners still resident in UK!

* I have not heard a positive ” we moved to France and it’s fine” story for months, apart from a few celebrities and some lucky folk with resources already in place to keep them solvent in retirement.

* So far this year I have almost lost my partner and my son-in-law to critical illness  and , although they would never stand in our way, my daughter and grandson  want me here in the UK , not a thousand miles away.

* Although my French is much, much better, I am still floored by fast-speaking natives

* Trevor is probably about to be made redundant, and we cannot run three properties on my income.

* I haven’t see our French hovel for two  months and probably won’t get back there till next spring and I miss it like crazy. I have never been so emotionally attached to a building (site)!

* Someone that I thought was a good friend is blanking me and I know not why.

 

Sorry guys, but this is the wartsandall blog, and this is just how I feel today…………

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About coteetcampagne

Artist, period home maker, renovator, restorer, Francophile. My mission is to save the old stuff, one beautiful piece at a time
This entry was posted in Renovation and restoration diary- France and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Mort dans l’âme- heartsick

  1. Lynda says:

    I totally get this, Gill. Our Mountain Farmlet is in escrow. We will be out of debt by the first week of December. It will be a bittersweet event.

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  2. Hi Gill. I’ve genuinely been touched by your kindness and support for our project. I know it may be unlikely but if there is anything I can do to help let me know.

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  3. Chris says:

    Do not give up on your dream. We were ready to move to France in 2004 but life with all its problems got in the way and I was very down indeed. However, after various set backs we are nearly there. We will move to Daglan next Autumn. It looks bleak at the moment for you but things will get better, if there is anything that I can do, just ask. Think about all you have achieved, which is vast and what you hope for in the future.

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  4. Chin up, Gill. The setbacks only help you to enjoy the goal once you make it. Keeping my fingers crossed for Trevor. I was made redundant a few years back. It was the worst period of my life. But I got through it – as you will. X

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  5. bizzyella says:

    Ooh, times are not great. I know how irrationally attached I am to my house, though, after less than one year, so I can imagine the state you are in. Any chance you could declare the French house to be your primary residence? Maybe if Trevor spent a little more time there? I’m finding that French law has interesting loopholes. I don’t know what might actually work for you; I am just starting to work these things out for myself and of course the rules are different for non-EU citizens. But do look into the options. Those kids may want you close but I’m sure they mostly want you happy. Keep us posted.

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    • Yep, we are looking at a few options. Much depends on what happens in the next few weeks and whether I can get internet in the village and work!!
      I will probably feel better tomorrow.

      Rest assured you will all share my journey (she said as they un-followed her in droves……………)

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  6. Osyth says:

    Sorry – that is meant to read just over 12 months ago … teaches me for having distractions when I am trying to write a serious response 😦

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  7. Osyth says:

    OK – you want positives about moving to France … here is mine. I moved here a year and just under 2 months ago with rubbish French into a rented flat above the local Ecole Maternelle. My husband still has his job in the US and is only able to spend moments with me and I should be the loneliest woman on the planet. But I’m not. The people are warm and welcoming, they just allow me to be me. We have bought our little house and have no money to do it up but we are disarmed with the kindness of the people in the village (500 inhabitants) who are really interested in our project and want to help us. Just do it my boss used to say way before Nike knicked his line and he was right. Don’t be down, bumps in the road are just that but you will get there and you will love it – life is for living and living in France is lovely – even on a day like today when it was grey grey grey. 🙂

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    • Thank you for that, it really does help .

      Most of the time I am positive and proactive about what we are trying to do but it has been a trying year. That said, we know what we want and we know we need to get into gear and make it happen.
      I need to reconnect with gypsy Gill who followed her instincts & just did it…
      Life happens wherever you happen to be & I would rather be en Aude ASAP!

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  8. Sorry Gill. Sounds like things all seem to be happening at once. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know 🙂

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