I have just been laughing at one of the blogs I follow ” Renovation of a derelict house in Brittany,France” in which Jenny refers to getting into clothes that were formerly too small.
I know all about the side effects of restoration on one’s figure ( which is another bonus of buying in France) so here you are, free, gratis and without charge, my new “get in shape” regime:-
” How to lose weight and get fit the Coteetcampagne way- tens steps to trim! “-
1) Spend days, weeks or months tramping around France viewing unsuitable properties .
2) Experience the EUREKA moment of finding the one, perfect property; then spend next few years wondering if you were hallucinating or hypnotised when you made that decision .
3) Run around like headless chicken trying to find the tools and materials you need to proceed and end up going back to UK for half of them.
4) Move mountain of bizarre junk and existing interesting fixtures and fittings from your new French project
5) Scrub everything in sight.
6) Become builder’s mate and run up and down two flights of stairs with buckets of stone, planks of wood and heavy DIY tools.
7) Sand, paint, scrape, joint, glue, mount,saw, nail,varnish, plaster, wire, plumb,heave into place..
8) Scrub everything in sight, again, and repeat stages 5-8 “ad infinitum”.
9) Worry and stress about every aspect and lie awake at night wondering what crisis will hit next.
10) Look in mirror and find that you are poorer, greyer and have aged ten years- but hey, you are definitely thinner!
*If you add in a little light ranting at your spouse/partner, this regime is even more effective
Persist for as long as humanly possible and if you are lucky, you might even look as rough as I do on the above (“point that camera somewhere else, I’m asleep on my feet”) photo!